Nothing Changes Love Read online

  Nothing Changes Love

  Jacqueline Baird

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ONE

  LEXI opened her eyes and for a moment was completely disorientated. White walls, a narrow bed, white sheets, and the smell...antiseptic!

  She moved to sit up, and the full horror of the past night sliced into her heart. She groaned with the unaccustomed pain and dragged herself up to a sitting position, her small hands clutching the white weave of the coverlet.

  Her baby, the tiny being growing inside her only twenty-four hours ago, was no more. She had miscarried; after all the expert care and bed rest, nothing had been able to save her precious child. Moisture flooded her violet eyes, and with the back of her hand she brushed it away.

  ‘Now, now, Lexi, try not to upset yourself too much.’

  She looked up at the familiar figure of a Dr Bell, a tall, balding man; he had been her doctor for all her twenty years, but even he had been helpless to prevent her losing her first baby, a boy... She tried to smile but it was a watery effort.

  ‘Some things in life, child, are just not meant to be.’ He took one of her small hands in his, his world-weary eyes scanning the small, beautiful figure in the bed. He could remember the day she was born, tiny and squalling, with a shock of brilliant red hair. She had developed into a bright, incredibly beautiful young woman and she did not deserve the grief she had borne for the past few years. He had hoped that with her marriage not a year ago her luck had finally turned, but in that it seemed he was mistaken; her high-flying husband had not even bothered to attend the hospital last night, although he had been informed of the imminent loss of the baby.

  ‘But I so wanted my baby,’ Lexi moaned.

  ‘It is tragic to lose a baby at fourteen weeks, but there is always a reason, nature’s way of letting us know something is not quite right. But you’re young and perfectly fit; there will be many more babies for you. The important thing is not to worry about it.’

  ‘If you say so.’ But the flat, toneless quality of her voice told the doctor the poor girl was not convinced.

  ‘Anyway, that handsome husband of yours will be here shortly. I have spoken to him personally.’

  ‘Jake knows?’ she queried quietly.

  ‘Yes, and the two of you together will soon see this as a sad memory, nothing more, once you fill Forest Manor with a few healthy children.’ He smiled and, straightening up, he let go of her hand. ‘Believe me; after all, I am the expert.’

  A commotion, raised voices in the corridor outside the small private room, prevented Lexi making any reply. The door swung open and a tall, dark man rushed into the room. Pushing Dr Bell aside, he sat down on the side of the bed, and gathered Lexi’s small hands in his much larger ones.

  ‘God! Lexi, I’m so sorry, I know how much the baby meant to you; I can’t believe it has happened.’

  ‘Jake.’ She murmured his name. ‘It wasn’t my fault.’ She wanted to explain, but couldn’t find the words. Her violet eyes roamed over his handsome face, the night-black hair curling haphazardly over his broad brow, as though he had never had time to brush it. His dark eyes that at first glance looked brown but on closer inspection were almost navy blue, were fixed on her small face, the concern in his expression undeniable. Jake, her husband; he looked so dynamic, so vitally alive, and she felt dead inside. An aching void where her child should have been.

  ‘Shh, darling, don’t try and talk. I’m here now, I will look after you.’

  But would he? The question popped into her mind, she did not know from where. Lexi had needed him last night, had cried out for him in her agony, but where had he been? Giving a dinner party for clients...

  ‘Did your meeting with the Americans, the Stewarts wasn’t it, go well?’ she asked quietly.

  Jake sat up straighter, his clasp of her hands loosening. ‘More or less.’

  ‘Which was it?’ Lexi queried, somehow aware the worried frown marring his brow wasn’t solely for her.

  His hand tightened on hers but his smile was forced as he answered. ‘One or two problems, but nothing I can’t handle. Don’t concern yourself, Lexi. Let me worry about the business. The important thing is for you to get better and out of this tiny cottage hospital as quickly as possible.’

  ‘What kind of problem?’ she asked mechanically.

  Jake turned his dark head to Dr Bell and deliberately changed the subject with, ‘I wanted Lexi to go to Harley Street, but she insisted on you, and I want some answers, and I want them now. Why wasn’t I informed last night when this happened?’ And, getting to his feet, Lexi ignored for the moment, the two men stood face to face.

  ‘According to our records, the sister on duty telephoned the manor at nine last night. You were unavailable at the time, but my sister was assured you would be given the message.’

  ‘I don’t believe it; I demand to see the administrator, and I’ll make damn sure heads roll for this.’

  Lexi closed her eyes briefly, trying to block out the image of a furious Jake, but it was impossible. She looked at him, all six feet plus of bristling male aggression. He was wearing a short-sleeved knit shirt in pale blue that fit snugly across his wide shoulders and broad chest. A black leather belt slung low on his hips supported well-washed denim jeans that clung lovingly to his long, muscular legs. The father of her baby, and yet, when he had arrived, he had said he knew how much the baby meant to her. How she wished he had said, ‘us’, and swept her into his arms; she ached to lay her head on his broad chest and forget yesterday had ever happened.

  She tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Dr Bell demand, ‘Do you really think this is the time or the place for this discussion, Mr Taylor?’

  Lexi’s bemused gaze went from one man to the other, not sure who to believe; she wanted to believe Jake.

  ‘You’re right, Dr Bell,’ Jake agreed curtly. ‘But don’t think you have heard the last of this.’

  ‘Please, Jake,’ she reached out a trembling hand ‘No recriminations, I couldn’t bear it.’

  ‘Oh, hell! I’m sorry, Lexi,’ and swooping down, at last he cradled her in his strong arms. ‘Forgive me darling, it’s just I’m so angry, I wasn’t here when you needed me. No business deal is worth a fraction of what you mean to me.’ He tilted her head back to look into her bruised eyes. ‘You do know that, darling?’ With one long, tanned finger he traced the soft curve of her cheek, the dark circles under her eyes, then softly his sensuous mouth brushed lightly against hers.

  ‘Yes, Jake, of course,’ she murmured huskily, her voice thick with tears. But did she? the errant thought flashed in her mind. She glanced up at him and was stunned to see moisture glistening on his thick black lashes.

  ‘I called last night, after midnight, and they told me you were asleep. If only I’d known.’ His deep voice shook with emotion.

  ‘It’s all right.’ But he could have asked about the baby; if he weren’t such a workaholic he might have done. She banished the disloyal thought and added, ‘You’re here now and that’s all that matters.’

  For a long moment their eyes clung. Pain, regret and deep sorrow; the message passed between them, too agonising to put into words.

  ‘There will be other children, love.’ Jake cradled her head against his broad shoulder, his strong hand smoothing the wild tangle of red curls back from her face and gently down her back in the age-old gesture of comfort. ‘Cry if you need to, Lexi, let it all out.’ His deep
, rich voice murmured soft words of comfort and consolation.

  To Lexi it was the care she needed and, held close in Jake’s arms, the familiar scent and feel of him enveloping her, she cried as though her heart would break. Finally, all cried out, she hiccuped and raised swollen red eyes to his handsome face.

  ‘I’ll be all right now.’

  ‘We both will be; together we can beat whatever the world throws at us.’ His dark head lowered and his mouth claimed hers in an achingly gentle kiss.

  Lexi curled her slender arms around his neck, needing him as never before. His sensuous lips, warm and mobile, moved seductively over hers, his tongue slipping erotically into her mouth. Surprised by his turning the kiss from gentle to passionate, she tensed, inexplicably revolted. Jake groaned against her mouth, a flare of desire sharp and instant tautened his huge frame, and, pulling back, he looked down into her pale face.

  ‘God! What am I doing? You’re ill, you need rest.’ He pressed her back down against the pillows, and shifted his tall body uncomfortably on the bed. ‘It never fails. From the first day I saw you, I only have to look at you to want you.’ A rueful self-deprecating smile twisted his firm lips. ‘I shall have to learn to control my baser instincts around you, at least for a while,’ he teased lightly.

  Lexi attempted a smile, but unsettling questions niggled at the edge of her mind. Was that all Jake wanted from her? A warm body in his bed? Was that all he had ever wanted? Their baby, a mistake!

  Half an hour later, after Jake had left, promising to return in the evening, Lexi was informed by Dr Bell that she could leave the next day. She should have been pleased, instead all she felt was a mind-numbing exhaustion and physical weakness that made the thought of leaving the security of the hospital for their apartment and the bustle of the hotel, and the inevitable condolences of the staff, a terrifying prospect.

  A deep, drawn-out sigh escaped her. It was so unfair, she thought hopelessly. On Friday afternoon she had been a happy, pregnant mum-to-be. She had driven into York to keep an appointment at four with Dr Bell, just routine, but first she had gone shopping for something glamorous to wear at the dinner party she was hosting the following night with her husband at Forest Manor. The manor, once her childhood home, had been converted by Jake’s property company into a country house hotel. Now only the west wing was home.

  Unfortunately, it had started to rain, and, dashing to keep her doctor’s appointment, she had slipped on the wet pavement and fallen. She had jumped to her feet and run on, arriving at the surgery late and rather upset. Dr Bell had examined her, and said she was spotting a little, and insisted she stay in the local hospital for a day or two just as a precaution.

  Lexi, slightly in awe of her sophisticated, dynamic husband, had dreaded telling him. She knew Jake was hoping to make a deal with Mr Stewart, an American tycoon who owned, among other things, his own airline, along with a tour firm that ran regular trips to England. Jake had explained that if Mr Stewart agreed to use the new Forest Manor hotel as a regular stop for his clients, the hotel was assured of being at least half-full all year, even if it never got another customer. A great deal if Jake could get it.

  She need not have worried, because Jake had arrived on the Friday night from London and been a tower of strength, telling her not to worry, his PA, Lorraine, could host the party and all Lexi had to do was look after herself and the baby.

  Lexi turned restlessly on the narrow bed. How could life change so drastically from Friday to Sunday? All her hopes and dreams squashed by a wet pavement. It seemed so pointless...

  ‘Come on, Mrs Taylor. Cheer up.’ The sister who had attended her the night before walked in. ‘You’re young, and time heals all wounds. I know you don’t think so at the minute, but it is true. And it’s also true that I did ring your home last night; a woman answered and promised to give your husband the message.’

  Lexi looked at the sister, and she knew Jake’s hand was in the unsolicited statement somewhere.

  ‘The young woman sounded supremely efficient; I never doubted for a moment she would pass the message on.’

  It could only have been Lorraine, Lexi thought resignedly. ‘It’s all right, Sister, I believe you. My husband has been in this morning. Everything is fine.’

  ‘I wish you would tell him that.’

  Lexi heard the sister mutter under her breath as she left the room, and felt sorry for her. Lexi knew personally just how intimidating Jake could be if he thought he had been wronged in any way. She still shuddered to think of the way he had dismissed the foreman on the hotel project last Christmas, frog-marching the man to his car and tossing his gear in with him. Jake was not the sort of man one argued with. Lexi had never tried; far too much in love with him, she would do anything to appease him.

  Now, why did that thought make her feel even more depressed? she mused. Maybe losing the baby had made her realise once again how fragile life was, and question her slavish acceptance to everything Jake said or did. She tossed her head to dispel the unsettling notion, and the bedroom door swung open to reveal what looked like a walking basket of flowers.

  The junior nurse dropped it on the floor with a sigh of relief and a huge smile. ‘Somebody out there loves you,’ she teased.

  Lexi eyed the huge basket with wonder. Masses of roses tastefully arranged with babies’ breath and the message on the card was simple. ‘Love always, Jake.’ The briefest of smiles curved her lips. Just like him: larger than life.

  Alone once more, Lexi turned over on to her side, her violet eyes fixed firmly on the flowers. The aching sense of loss was still there, but somehow it did not seem quite so devastating, as long as she had Jake. She smiled softly remembering the first time they met, perhaps it was the mind’s way of dealing with a hurt too hard to face, she mused, as she drifted in a dream-state, recalling the past in minute detail. At nineteen years of age, and having just completed her first-year exams in languages at St Mary’s college, London, Lexi had been called back to her home, Forest Manor, because of her father’s sudden death. Her mother had died three years earlier, only weeks after her father had retired from the Diplomatic Corps. Laughtons had for generations entered the foreign service, and between postings lived in Yorkshire.

  The house was a beautiful old stone-built manor. E-shaped, with mullioned windows, oak floors and beautiful hand-carved panelling and situated seven miles from the cathedral city of York, mid-way between the tiny villages of Sand Hutton and Stockton-on-the-Forest.

  But on the death of her father his substantial pension had ceased, and the lawyer had informed Lexi that his personal debts were quite large. As one of the Lloyds names her father had enjoyed a good private income for years, but a few years previously he had changed syndicates hoping to make even bigger profits. Unfortunately the reverse had happened, and Lexi had had no alternative but to put the house and its extensive parkland on the market to cover the debt.

  Lexi turned over on to her back and stared sightlessly up at the blank white ceiling. It seemed incredible to believe it was under a year since she had first met Jake. She felt as if she had known him a lifetime, so much had happened.

  * * *

  It was a beautiful July day. Lexi waited in the entrance porch of her home, and watched as a sleek black car drew to a halt in front of the door and the tall figure of a man stepped out.

  ‘Mr Taylor?’ she queried as the man bounded up the stone steps to stop only inches away from her.

  ‘Yes, and you must be Alexandra Laughton. Your solicitor said you were young, but he didn’t mention beautiful.’

  ‘Lexi, please. No one calls me Alexandra,’ she said nervously and blushed scarlet, embarrassed by his frank compliment, and also by the overpowering effect the man had on her. He looked about thirty, and was dressed in a plain white shirt, dark tie and an immaculate three-piece business suit, the jacket stretched taut across broad shoulders and a massive chest. His hair was black and thick, and his face alert and hard. There was no mistaking the fierce
predatory expression on his roughly hewn features. A broad forehead, deep dark eyes, high cheek bones and a straight blade of a nose above a wide, firm mouth. His skin was the colour of polished mahogany.

  ‘I’m afraid I’m in rather a hurry. So, shall we proceed?’ he said briskly, all business.

  ‘Y-yes. Yes, of course,’ she stammered, leading him into the panelled entrance hall. ‘You’re very brown. Are you English?’ God! Where had that come from? She cringed; it was totally out of character for Lexi to pass personal comments and she turned red with embarrassment. ‘Please...’

  To her surprise he started to laugh and, catching one of her small hands in his, he said, ‘Jake Taylor, luv... Born within the sound of the Bow Bells. A cockney, a tanned cockney, though I believe my father was a foreigner.’ He drawled the last word teasingly.

  He was laughing at her but she could not blame him; so far she had not managed to make much sense. Lexi shook her head in a vain attempt to clear her brain, and her long red hair spun around her face in a glittering cloud before settling back on her slender shoulders. She had dressed with care, expecting the first prospective buyer for the house, in a plain, shirt-style straight-skirted cream summer-dress. She had added a minimum of make-up to her golden skin; she was one of those very rare redheads with a skin that actually tanned. Her full lips were carefully outlined in a soft coral lip gloss and a touch of mascara on her long lashes completed her make-up and she’d thought she appeared quite adult, until this man had looked at her.

  ‘I’m sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Please, follow me, and I’ll show you around.’ Her violet eyes met his once more, and she felt the intensity of his gaze to the soles of her feet. She again shook her head, but nothing could clear her mind and she spent the next hour leading him around the half-dozen reception rooms, up the grand staircase, all around the upper floors until finally they arrived back in the hall with Lexi still in a bemused state.

  ‘Are you free for the rest of the day?’

  ‘What? Oh, yes.’ Lexi had to get her brain in gear, but it seemed to be an impossibility. ‘But why?’ she asked, standing once more in the front porch. Common sense told her he should leave: he was too dynamic, too male, and certainly too sophisticated for her. She felt oddly threatened by him, but her foolishly fast-beating heart wanted him to stay.